Probably. Definitely not. Possibly. OK, it depends. While there are hundreds of genes that impact weight, there are several known mutations that run in families and apparently predispose those who have them to obesity. Someone who is predisposed to obesity may have a harder time resisting extra trips to the buffet line and a harder time losing weight once it’s gained than someone without that genetic makeup. Let’s use my family and in-laws as real-world examples:
- My siblings and I grew up on 100% whole wheat bread and fat-free milk. I never even tasted whole milk until college when I thought someone messed up the cafeteria cereal bar. My husband’s family had white bread and whole milk every day.
My family mostly ate skinless chicken breasts and baked fish with occasional lean ground beef. My mother-in-law thinks bacon is a basic food group. No lie. In fact, the first time I remember her ever truly being mad at me was when I threw away the bacon drippings from breakfast while cleaning her kitchen. I had NO IDEA they were to be kept for future use.- We only had chips and pop (ok, soda) when hosting Fourth of July events, and the top of our refrigerator was used to display ugly ceramic thingamabobbers. The in-laws keep a ready supply of no less than 4 flavors of chips on top of the fridge, and they have a selection of pop that rivals the Coca-Cola Freestyle machine…always.
- Our kitchen was full of fruits and vegetables, so things that I consider everyday normal fare were new and exotic to my husband when we got married. I mean, crazy strange stuff like avocados and squash – whoa! Forget about radicchio, mangoes, or basil.
- I never tasted dessert until I was well into my toddler years, and as a result (according to my mom) I never developed a sweet tooth. My parents literally made me get birthday cakes from the bakery for my birthday parties so the other children could enjoy it. I had (and have) no interest. Hubby? Um, let’s just say that I finally had to ask him why there were always pieces of cellophane in the garbage when I woke up in the morning (“Those are Ho Ho wrappers, honey” he said sheepishly)…and he faithfully attends every baby/toddler birthday party we’re ever invited to – for the cake.
- Grains I love: quinoa, couscous, barley, oats, faro, amaranth. Grains my husband was familiar with before I started cooking his meals: white rice. Admittedly, my mom wasn’t throwing the world’s tastiest quinoa dishes on the table every night in the 80’s, but brown rice and regular oatmeal (not the packets) were things we had multiple times a week.
- At least 50% of our family dinners were prepared in a wok with a tad bit of olive oil; the rest were baked in the oven. My MIL rarely serves anything that has not been “scattered, smothered, covered, and topped.” This has been a real sore spot for her daughter-in-law (me) who struggles to walk the fine line between “I adore my MIL and don’t want to hurt her feelings” and “I draw the line at lard. Point blank.”
And so as not to pick on my poor MIL, I’ll share that I have to pack a lunch for my kids when we visit my father-in-law because there is n-o-t-h-i-n-g available to eat in his home that is not in a frozen package or with less than 20 ingredients. Our freezer? You guessed it…frozen vegetables…frozen chicken breasts…and frozen homemade leftovers for occasional quickie dinners (my dad was not big on leftovers at all).
I could go on and on with the differences between our families, but it’s easy for anyone to see that my family consistently ate healthy, well-balanced meals (even back then) while the hubby grew up on down home vittles mixed with a steady diet of sugar, salt, and saturated fat.
But guess what?
My entire family is fat. His entire family is thin. And when I say “entire,” I mean it.
“Oh, it must be the exercise,” you say? Negative. My dad worked out (running, lifting weights) nearly every day of my entire life and died of cancer at 68. My FIL stretches a little in front of the TV and is as stealth as ever at 90 (yes 9-0). No one else in my family worked out…ever. But no one in my husband’s family worked out…ever…either.
In fact, my husband goes to the gym almost daily where he reads the WSJ on an exercise bike, but he breaks more of a sweat while wrestling on the floor with our 3-year-old son daughter. Going to the gym is like brushing his teeth – he knows he has to do it, but his heart isn’t really in it. Despite this, he is nice and lean with definition in all the right places (wink, wink). I, on the other hand, work out a bazillion times harder. I always leave the gym soaking wet, and I do all of this just to break even – not lose – weight.
It’s not the exercise; neither family excels there. It’s not the diet, or his family would be obese. It’s the genes. In the absence of marked changed behavior, the members of my family are destined to be fat while his are not. It’s not fair or fun…it just is. This doesn’t mean that my family, and others like it, is doomed, however. While genetics play a role and likely will determine your future if you don’t intervene, we all have the ability to make a MAJOR dent in the cards we were dealt.
A consistently healthy diet of plant-based foods combined with lean protein sources and healthy fats along with regular exercise can set the ball rolling in a different direction, and I’m a perfect example of that phenomenon at work. It takes a mindset shift and a willingness to accept, yet maneuver around, the forces working against you. But most of all, it takes understanding – understanding of what is at play and at stake if your family is like mine and understanding that your sleek physique is not all of your own doing, if your family is like my husband’s. This understanding, in turn, will allow us to be more forgiving of our own seeming lack of willpower and less critical of those who “would look like me if they just ate better.”
